hail hydra

    one of the things that has been pointed out to me a couple of times by a couple of people is the duality of nerd culture. on one hand there is the out right rule of consumerism. everything in nerd culture is a product. that be a movie, a collectible a comic or a convention. its all about putting money in someones pocket. the good is the consuming  of what you as a nerd love and cherish. the negative is that kind of consumerism leaves fandoms flat and  void of good content. it also leaves people with a strange sense of blindly following cause the only way there  going to get  what  they want to  to follow blindly.
    community is the opposite  of  that idea. its about quality over quantity. more about  who your with than what you consuming. living your life out  with others a lot like you doing things you all love. playing games or watching a TV show. more that just consuming, you end up discussing  what your watching. laughing  over a bad game move. or getting lost in conversation. you tend  to beat consumerism with each other . like a super hero team beating a cold heart
ed organisation that has infiltrated society under our noses and  is starting  to rise up and take over.
    kind of sounds like agents of shield trying to defeat Hyder. they came out of no where and had a upper hand in slowly breaking down society. the agents were caught of guard., felt betrayed  but stuck together and won. had some loses but  won. that's life. we have this nerd community that is holding us up. bad things might happen  but  we are proud to stand side by side with our friends and our fandom.

i heart will wheaton

      I have to admit. i am in love with will wheaton. i think is is an awesome actor. we  may not have the political and religious ideas but what  he has  done for sci-fi and  nerd culture is something that is amazing. from standing up for  all  of us nerds  who have been bulled and letting all know being super into some thing is not a unhealthy obsession always but a coping mechanism and a healthy outlet. i  beloved that. all these fandoms  are just  healthy outlets for things  like depression, bulling, anxiety and hate.  that's  not a  bad thing. for being a weird ,awkward  smart kid myself, i always identified with Wesley crusher. the kid who always saved the day. was really an odd ball but somehow cool  as  all get out. the fact he ended up as a cool time traveler who could save the world was also awesome. that was amazing for me. cause if  your smart and awkward, like i was,you may end up being special. that's a great thought to have and such an encouriging word  to live by.. it does not matter who you are but who your becoming.
       then there's the opposite of Wesley that's Dr. Issac parish from eureka. he was smart  but kind of a butt-head at  times. he had a good heart but he let his head get ahead of that sometimes. it  go him in trouble and direct competition with Fargo. i think that show that intelligence is not everything. but where i love will , yes were on a first name basis, is his love for nerds. he is a board game fanatic. that desire to play games with others nerds has started nerd community. nerds wanting to get together with each other and play games. enjoy each others company. breaking the stereotype that all nerds are loners and antisocial. that is so  not true. so go find nerds like you, go love on your fellow nerds and be apart of a greater community.. as will himself..play more games

shepards advice

if you don't know firefly then first I'm sorry. its such a good show. amazing really. Shepard book is a minster in the ship serenity. he gives great advice. like this..

Book: It’s not about making sense. It’s about believing in something, and letting that belief be real enough to change your life. It’s about faith. You don’t fix faith, River. It fixes you.
   what a powerful statement and so true. you can't fix faith. god and belief is something that cant be controlled. we cant make our self believe. as hard as i have tried i cant believe the good girl will come along.Ive tried hard. or more serenely try to fix someones unbelief. faith has a way of working itself out.
    river was a broken person.you know she wanted to be fixed. Simon tried and so did most of the firefly crew. the only way that was going to happen is believing that eventually it would happen. not forcing or making it happen but just thought time it will happen.
   that's hard to do. so very hard to do. Shepard book has great advice. let it work out, allow faith to do its job and fix itself

zombie brain

     sometimes ideas just don't come. the brain is kind of like a zombie. it has no desire to do anything but consume. we want it to produce,. we want ideas to flow like blood after a games of throne wedding. producing is good. we feel productive. we  feel useful. its nice when ideas just  run and  run. but today i am pushing them out like i have a internal tummy issue.

      so back to  the zombie brain.. to  day its just screaming. consume, consume. it wants t.v and movies and such. so why cant i give in. is it not OK to consume a little. you have to eat, that's consume and drink is consuming to. but  when it  comes to zombie brains. we fear that if  we consume to much. we will become useless. i guess that con happen just like  become fat or water logged. so there's a balance in all the 6 episodes  of star wars and getting that home project done. both are  good for you. yes over productiveness can hurt you to.. so no marathon braining  for me yet but fighting the zombie brain.

13 changes

     anything about relationships of any type can suck. its hard to be honest and real. its hard to be truthful how you feel about people. it sometimes takes years for truth to happen in your life with other people in it.
      so here we come to my main man peter latemer from wearhouse 13. a show we said goodbye to this week. which makes my heart so sad. the rnd of agents peter,micha,Arte and Claudia chasing strange historical objects to save the world. like micha said "the worlds most dangerous antique road show." which it was. peter, he was something awesome. a wonderful example of how a man can go from stubborn,sometimes foolish and did i say stubborn. to a man who struggled with life,love,danger and relationships. yes relationships, he had many but what started out as a uneasy partnership turned into a friendship which turned in to love. he fought it hard. he covered it with his strange job. he fought it tooth and nail. getting wammyed by strange artifacts along the way.
     why fight , why resist because it was easier that way. we all resisted change and resist becoming something more. for me its focusing on me. that's hard. i fight it hard. i need people to lift me up and love me not a lady to distract me. for me that's where I'm going. no dating all friendships. its the opposite of peter. but still very hard to resist. the need for a person to complete you. someone to make you better. unfortunately it does not work that way.  we need to be secure in self. that's part of the journey I'm on
      change its hard.ill probably get wammyed along the way. it Will hurt. that's why you have others. these are people on this journey who will come and go. some stay longer than others. you need them but you need you to.

freaky,freaky,freakshow

  i love the weird,wild, and wacky,always have. there's something about people who are different, that makes me smile. that may include a special talent or ability that seems to be way out there. you know, people who swallow fire,juggle,or stick metal in there face. then there's the so called freaks. people born with genetic disabilities and tjen chage it to a unique ability.then use that ability to better them self. it truly amazes me that god did that. he has a wicked sense of humor. a fun, hey look what i just did, sense of humor.
    so this brings me to the amc show freak show. its about the last permanent carnival style side show. its located in Venus beach California. it is where people who are these so called freaks come together with their special stuff to make people smile and gasp a little. its a great show about the human spirit.how all people have the right to be treated with respect,dignity and love. all people have a purpose. this show impresses me so much. it shows human emotion of every spectrum. from heart felt moments of clarity to gasp of pure amazement.
     i believe god wants us to experience a wide range of emotions. that emotions being spent on his creations. sometimes tears sometimes experiencing all the crazy he created. amazed that he cared us so different. there ae no mistakes in his creation. no matter how weird it looks. how out there someone is. he created that.that was his imagination.

i'm on a mission from god

      "everybody needs somebody to love, cause i need you, you ,you"
         o, the blues brothers rock my face. especially the first one. great music, great laugh and some great car chases. every movie needs a great car chase. blues brothers is one of those movies that makes me happy. there seems to be another meaning in that movie for me because even though Jake and Elwood seem to have alternative motives they are truly on a mission form  god  to love. they try to love everyone they meet. not always successful and sometimes money and the stage get in the way. yes they  may be misguide. but who  of  us are not a little misguided in our search  for truth and our own mission  from  god.
        we get messed up in loving people sometimes.  we judge and try to fix  those  god  can only fix. we let our baggage get in the way. poor Jake  and  his ex. we may not have someone out to kill us but we do have things trying to get us of our mission. for them it was loving on those orphans  because  it was  where they grew up. we have missions. some of us its loving on orphans. others its loving on nerds like mine. i  want all nerds to  feel loved and wanted. even if there mission is a little messed up  it its ways  of  being put together but the heart  and motivaton is right. all it takes is
being loved and  having a community means  so much.

nerd love loves nerds

  i love all things nerdy. tv,movies,music,comics..the list can go on forever. these things can make me so happy. not the permenet happy but the take away the blues happy.
    i love going to cons. for younon nerds thats a big gathering of like minded individuals gather. they dress up like batman and giants bunnies. by the way the giant bunnies scare me.  these events and the things that they love are awsome.
     i also love nerds. i love hthe excitment and joythey have. i love that they see meaning and hope in their obsesions. i want them to be loved and honored. because alot of us can get lonley.by the way i am a nerd. we need people like others do i want to let all to know how awsoe nerds are. its not a bad word. its a great word.